Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She needs sedatives and a leash
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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