I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
