On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
