another moral hangover. fuck.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
