Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
