Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
