He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
