I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
