do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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