I cockslap morals
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
