If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
