Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
