there's paper in my vomit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
