Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
