She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
