i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
