I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
what day is it and did you see me today?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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