Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's never too late to be topless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
