She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
