you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
