hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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