there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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