So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
