The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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