Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
