real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
