What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
