I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
