please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
soo... how was my night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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