kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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