Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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