it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
