One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
