"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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