I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
