We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Found the puke drawer
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
