I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
