Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
