Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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