I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
