You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
