Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
