somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Come share oat with me in your robe
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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