You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
