normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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