Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
