wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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