tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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