It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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