So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize