You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
