He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
