I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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