did you get engaged???
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
