i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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