Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
