A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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