I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
