I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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