I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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