All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
