I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
