His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
