im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
