Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
