My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The air taste purple.
Randomize
