Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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