Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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