READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize