I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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