I'm jealous of your bromance
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I did not marry a roomba.
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