I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
