She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
