ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
