i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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