So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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